The president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria has likened thieving government officials to greedy goats who shouldn't be tempted with yams left in their presence. Although goats aren't exactly dumb relative to other animals, they are no match for our corrupt political class, which is in serious need of purging. Mr. President is a zoologist, so I'm sure he is familiar with animal intelligence surveys.
President Johnathan believes that if we simply separate the goats from the yams the thieving will end. Notice I'm targeting stealing, because the president made a point of separating that from other forms of corruption. That's another story for another time.
Let's consider the effect of greedy goats on a farmer who has toiled to produce the yam. The resources, hard work, and time which went into producing the yam can never be recovered. The farmer can only recover the equivalence to the yam by considering that it has added value to the goat. The yam is gone forever. However, it will add to the goats weight at the market.
Let us take the analogy a step further. Let's talk about us. The goat, of course, represents the corrupt official. The yam is the missing naira. What is the effect on our society when a thieving politician eats our naira? And how can we recover value? Here is where the analogy falls apart. You see, there is no way to get back all of what was stolen from us. We can't sell the evil politician at the market.
This is why they are intolerable. They are causing hunger and stifling the healthy development of Naija. They make it so that resources that could be used to create jobs and opportunities are unavailable. Thus, forcing our youth into lives of crime and prostitution in order to survive. If we don't put an end to them, they will put an end to us. They are killing our children. What shall we do with such mischievous goats?
Compassion says that once convicted these criminals should be jailed according to current legal precedent. I object on the grounds that this hasn't worked. We need stricter laws and harsher sentencing guidelines which make public theft a capital offense. Their crimes are causing people to die. We are becoming victims of: violent crime, poor health care, and broken spirits. Stealing from the people shouldn't be tolerated any longer in Nigeria. It is time for us in this generation to begin to build the type of nation our children can be proud of.
Corrupt officials should face a public execution by firing squad of 37 rifles (One for each state in the federation and one for the F.C.T). Their friends, family members, and mistresses should be subjected to investigation and being tried separately if need be. The condemned should be jailed for two years prior to execution. In this time they will be offered an opportunity to have their sentenced commuted to life in prison for good behavior. Good behavior shall mean confession and complete recovery of stolen assets.
It may sound harsh, but believe me my people this is the only medicine which can save mama Naija. She is very ill. Before we would allow our mother to die, we must do all in our power; and we are powerful enough to save her from the evil jaws of death.
Long Live The Federal Republic of Nigeria
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